Here we go ...
1. From the lead to the final line, the reporting, interviewing, quoting, writing and description are worth studying. This article titled "Guard Shot During Robbery Attempt at Waldorf" is amazing. The action verbs alone are a lesson. These reporters have, indeed, told a story. What do you think of this piece? Comment on the structure.
2. Another interesting story involving your favorite site: Facebook. What are you thoughts? Comments? Insights? Was the response from the school appropriate?
3. Just an interesting read on copyright violation and the struggles a school goes through to deal with it. Thoughts? Comments? What do we as a newspaper need to do to avoid some of these issues?
13 comments:
In response to #1.
I enjoyed reading this article. The vivid description made you feel like you were actually there at the scene of the crime. I imagine the people running and hiding and the sounds of the gunshots while reading the article without even knowing it.
The use of verbs was key to conveying the emotions of people in the hotel at the time of the robbery.
I found it odd that there were no direct quotes used. The author/reporter was able to put quote is his own words, yet cited who had said the line.
I wish the article had covered more considering the aftermath. For example, how is the security guard who was shot now? Or, what percautions will the hotel take in the future?
--Amanda
In response to # 2.
I found this article extremely interesting considering how many people have facebook's and often misuse them. In fact, I recently deleted my facebook for some of these very reasons.
I strongly believe that facebook was never meant for posting inapropriate pictures from your weekend and pointless statuses about "what your doing right now". I think facebook is for communicating with friends and sharing things with others that wouldn't make your mother pass out after seeing.
The ever invincible teenager cares more about being cool by posting pictures, making exclusive events, and writing their status, than questioning whether or not they should be sharing such things in the first place. I think that facebook is often being misused, as exemplified in the article. Kids need to wake up and realize that their actions have consequences. You cant erase the internet or peoples memories.
I agree with Amanda with regards to Article #2, simply because the internet is public domain and what you post on that public domain is open to any and all persons that wish to view it. If you are going to make stupid decisions that everyone will see, you must be prepared to take the consequences that come with those decisions. Furthermore, Facebook more than other sites provides you with the tools necessary to keep your information and your profile as private as possible, so taking advantage of those settings is important if there is "questionable" material on your profile.
As for this particular case, I think that the University of Texas handled the situation quite well. It seems obvious to me that the player in question did not intentionally mean any harm with his posted comments, yet that player has to realize that using racial slurs is simply unacceptable behavior no matter what the context. He deserved to be kicked off the team, and it seems that he realizes he deserved the punishment he received. If that is true, I can only hope that he learns from his mistakes and goes on to become a better, more responsible person because of this.
The article "Guard Shot During Robbery Attempt at Wardolf" by Christine Hauser in the New York Times was extremely engaging. While reading it, I was reminded of robbery scenes that I have seen in movies. I think the fast pacing of the article contributed to its cinematic qualities. However the article also followed good journalism practices. For example, in the lead, "a gunman dressed in black burst into a jewelry store" conjures up a vivid image and the citation at the end of the sentence, "the police said," gives it journalistic validity. This combination of excitement and professionalism is very effective.
The events described in the article "Egg on his Facebook" by Joseph Duarte from the Houston Chronicle, sound very familiar. Exchange University of Texas with MA, football team with class of '09, racism with sexism... and you've basically got the bro 9 incident from last year.
For some reason, students at MA (and, as it seems from this article, students all over the U.S.) continue to perpetuate the misconception that what they choose to involve themselves in on Facebook or other online sites will have no consequence. As members of the Marin Academy administration proved by their involvement in the bro 9 Facebook group, and the University of Texas proved by evicting Buck Burnette from the football team, schools can and do punish students for inapropriate behavior in online forums.
However there is a major difference between the University of Texas issue and the bro 9 one. Buck Burnette is considered a public figure because he is known beyond the boundaries of his school and immediate community. So, his actions have great repercussions as they have an effect on a large sphere of people. As he is closely affiliated with the University of Texas, I understand the reasoning that went into expelling him from the team.
The students involved in the bro 9 group however, are not public figures. I feel like members of the MA administration overstepped their bounds by involving themselves in a Facebook group even though they are legally allowed to do so. It is true that the group was wrong in many ways but I think that this is more of an issue of privacy than it is of sexism.
I do not think the MA administration should have the right to involve themselves in student's activities outside the boundaries of the school. If a student chooses to use illegal substances off of MA property and not during school hours, then the student will not be punished according to the handbook. Then, why should Facebook be any different? Activity on Facebook takes place mostly off campus and outside of school hours. And besides that, Facebook and MA are not affiliated with each other. They exist in two seprate spheres.
Also, Facebook is designed for social pursuit. I have not heard of the MA administration getting involved in the social life of students in such a public way before bro 9. For not only did the administration punish those involved in the group, but the entire school was informed of its existence, members, and subsequent punishments.
However, even if I do not believe that the MA administration acted fairly, I do not doubt that they will do so again and I think it would serve MA students well if they chose to be more discreet about what they put up online, or as Nish said, increase their security measures.
In response to # 2.
I agree with Nish and Amanda who wrote about the facebook article. I do not have a facebook, and that is because I do not want it to consume a lot of my time. Facebook is something that everyone uses and at the same time it is also misused. When I think of facebook I think of it as a website for posting up your pictures from your weekend or whatever, and an easy way to communicate with people. Especially those who you have not seen in a long time/do not go to your school. Now it seems like more and more it is used as a site to voice opinions that could inevitably hurt other people. As a result, it gets them in trouble. So, I think that the action the University of Texas took was appropriate. In my opinion, the guy deserved the punishment for his actions. The thing is with putting anything on the Internet is once it is there it is out there. True, you may be able to delete it from your computer, but it will still be out there on the web for others to see.
I am also responding to #2...
I recently got a facebook becasue I realized how extensively it was being used and just how much easier it was to stay connected with friends, especially those outside of MA. Users will frequently post things that I'm sure wouldn't make their parents proud. Teens tend to be careless with the things that they are posting. They often forget that they are on the internet and that many different people can see your photos, status updates, and wall posts.
As for the Texas football player, Buck Burnette, he is a prime example of the possible consequences of this carelessness. As the article stated, he was not a blatant racist, but probably just thought he was being a wise ass. His comments were definetely out of line, and it is just shocking to think of how stupid his desicion to post such a comment was. Somebody representing a presitgous football program such as Texas should be very wary with the things that they post. They should know that others would be eager to point out such a comment coming from somebody with the reputation as the center for the Texas football team. And no matter how wrong it may seem for others to get involved with something you post, it is inevitable because it is a public domain. This example should serve as a lesson to all Facebook users that their profiles are not actually as private as they would like them to be.
-adam
In response to #1...
I also like this article, but was surprised by its breity. Considering the type of incident that occured, I agree with Amanda that there could have been much more covered. I feel that more reactions could have been covered and more information about the shooter could have been added.
However, the first paragraph of the article was impeccable. It was a prime example of attacking the who, what, when , where, why of an article concisely. The description was amazing and I can see how efective this opening would be to draw readers in. After this, the writer did a good job of filling in more details and covering a couple of reactions form witnesses. The concluding section; however, was not that great. I feel like a good ending would have discussed future changes regarding safety that the hotel would make, as Amanda suggested. This would have been a perfect way to end on a positive note and give the incidient the sense of a learning experience.
-adam
In response to # 1
I really liked reading this article. The descriptions were so vivid, like Amanda said, that it felt you were there watching the crime scene. I was surprised though, that it was not a bigger deal. I thought that more information would have been covered. However, with the few quotes that were in the article i thought it created an affect to the article in a positive way. I was really intrigued with the article because in a way it was sort of suspenseful. In the beginning, it covered most of the questions that would be asked- like what happened and other questions like that. However, toward the end there were a lot of unanswered questions. If the ending was as strong as the beginning it would have made the article really strong.
I read the Tokay Tigers article, and, to be honest, I was kind of disappointed. When I read the headline I assumed this would be some juicy story about the paper publishing a copyrighted logo (GASP!). It turned out to be a not-so-clearly-written article about a grudge-bearing writer for the school paper trying to get his administration in trouble.
It sounds like the copyright violations in question were resolved a long time ago, and quite amicably at that. I guess the writer just fancied himself a whistleblower and got carried away trying to pursue a totally unrelated agenda, establishing a feeder program into the Tokay sports teams.
The sole issue this article should have been covering are the "defamation of character issues" the school's principle mentioned.
I don't see the Voice getting into a situation like this anytime soon. As a paper, we tend to be fairly approving and positive, almost to a fault. Yet, I could imagine some student with a grudge stirring up his or her own controversy through the voice (some people would probably say the cheating article last year is an example of that). I think this is just something editors need to keep an eye out for.
As Tokay High's principal said, "If something is printed ... and is put out as gospel, we as the school, the newspaper, the district, are responsible." Since The Voice is published with no serious oversight, it is the staff's responsibility to police itself and make sure everything we are printing is fair and true.
The article "Guard Shot During Robbery Attempt at Waldorf" was indeed a lesson in action verbs. Where else have you seen 'burst,' 'announced,' 'smashing,' 'tackled' and 'scattered' all used in the lead paragraph of a news piece?
The structure of the article is also exemplary; it starts with the biggest pieces of information and filters down to providing the details at the end. However, I find the second half of the article rather lackluster, mainly comprised of various people saying how they heard the gunfire and ducked into the alcoves or behind columns. Though I see where other people are coming from in wanting to know more about the aftermath of the event and the condition of those who were injured, there is definite merit in a finely crafted pithy news piece.
In response to the article on the Waldorf robbery.
I think that this article had a very effective approach to the story. It was explained as though it was from a first hand experience. High use of imagery was good too. An interesting style that they used was that they started with an event (robbery and shooting) and expanded into peoples' reactions. This is how a real event usually plays out. People witness the event and then talk about it. As a reader this made me feel as though I was there. Perhaps in news articles, we could incorporate this style.
I read the robbery article and, as everyone else has stated, found the descriptions engaging and the structure scintillating. I think it was excellent to hook the reader with that juicy action shot in the very beginning and follow with dramatic sentence structure filling in the bigger picture. I appreciate how the writers were able to give a news story such drama. I mean, it was a dramatic story to begin with, but the writing fits the content and really amplifies the story. In terms of storytelling, they created real, concrete characters (man with ipod, man from england for wedding, retired brooklyn police man) which added to the overall drama of the story.
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